An Apple Watch with a temperature sensor? SLAP IT ON ME, DADDY

Alongside adverts promising you “more RAM,” one of my favorite old pranks (or scams?) were the apps that pretended to measure your temperature. These either delivered completely random figures, or you could set a temperature yourself in order to “punk” your friends. Ah, simple times.

Well, in today’s edition of Oh My God Technology Is Moving At A Terrifying Pace And, Also, Goddamn I’m Old™, there are rumors circulating that the Apple Watch Series 8 may include a feature that can measure the user’s body temperature.

That’s right, before the Apple Watch Series 7 is even announced, we’re getting clues about what’s coming in the 2022 model. Truly, the wheels of the rumor mill never stop grinding. Let me rest, rumor mill, please, just for a little while.

Still, there’s good reason to believe that the inclusion of a temperature sensors on the Apple Watch Series 8 is legit. This rumor (reported by Apple Insider) comes from renowned analyst Ming-Chi Kuo, who has a strong track record of accurate predictions.

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Apple has been reportedly working on including temperature sensors in its products for some time. In fact, there are patents going back to 2014 that show the company has been focusing on this technology — albeit that was for headphones.

More recently, Patently Apple revealed the business has been registering ideas for measuring users’ temperature via both IR sensors in AirPods and on fabrics. The latter in particular is interesting for those interested in Apple Watch Series 8, as it implies we may see Watch bands housing the temperature measuring tech.

Currently, there are no concrete rumors regarding when the AirPods will have health features included, but Kuo believes it’ll happen in the next two years or so.

I think I can sum this up in two words: fuck yeah. I’m a huge Apple Watch fan, especially the health tracking features, so any updates in this sphere really gets my pulse racing. In a good way.

Now all I have to do is somehow make it in 2022 without peeing from excitement.